No, I haven’t read it yet. I just felt like venting about spoilers in general.
I got an e-mail from my friend Mike saying that some news outlets were revealing some plot points from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I know JK Rowling is upset about the early review in the New York Times. As Mike wrote, "Apparently the security measure of shipping them in a box that says do not open until 12:00am Saturday has somehow been circumvented.”
I learned to avoid news stories about things I cared about back in 1986 when Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home came out, and David S, Glaser of the News-Herald wrote a review that read “Not to reveal to much, but Kirk gets a new Enterprise and demoted to Captain.” Sheesh! I had a feeling Kirk and the crew wouldn’t let the Earth be destroyed, but what happened to him after having stolen the Enterprise in the previous movie was the only question.
And lest you think I’m spoiling anything, I do think that there’s a statute of limitations. I give it about six months before you can talk freely, and if it’s on that line, you’d better ask. So spoiling Citizen Kane, The Sixth Sense, Diggstown (What? You haven’t seen Diggstown, go rent it now!) are all fair game. But anything from this summer definitely deserves the Cones of Silence.
I can forgive people who spoil accidentally, with a conversation you don’t realize is being listened to or when you think someone has seen the property in question. Intentional spoiling, though, is just mean.
There’s so much entertainment in entertainment that’s limited already. When I watch Burn Notice, I’m pretty sure Michael won’t die. He’s got a 22-episode contract. It’s a fair assumption that Superman won’t die (again) and if he does, he’ll be back.
That doesn’t mean that I want Captain America Dies splashed across the news when it happens. It may not be permanent, but it’s still a surprise.
There are so few genuine surprises in entertainment, and it’s such a cool moment when you’re in the moment and go “Oh, wow, I didn’t see that coming.” When you’re a writer or a big fan of storytelling such moments are even more appreciated because, to paraphrase Cuba Gooding in Jerry Maguire “You’ve been to the puppet show and you’ve seen the strings.” You can see things coming.
And why would you want to deny people those moments of surprise and joy? Again, it’s mean. I hold news media particularly responsible. Any group that frequently uses teases (Such as “Find out at eleven how water can kill you!”) should appreciate leaving a couple surprises in life.
I won’t be getting the new Harry Potter until early tomorrow, since I had this weekend confused with when I had to leave for San Diego, although I did have the book rerouted to my house. I’m not going to stay up all night and read it either. It’s the last one, and I’d like to savor it a little bit. But when I come back from California, for sure, I’ll be done and ready to discuss it with you.
In private, under the cones of silence, and in hushed tones. I wouldn’t want to spoil it for anyone.